Roommates

Rediff, June 13, 2007

Here is what Delhiite Gaurav Kumar, a 26-year-old MBA student, had to say of his rooming experiences in Hyderabad, where he was working for an MNC:

I hope you find the story of my stay with roommates inspiring -- it may also help you in some ways, to adjust and live happily with those who migrate to big cities to work, and to make new friends.
I joined an MNC in Hyderabad as a fresher in 2003, with no living experience away from home (not even in a college hostel). I was new to the city, and was looking to make friends who would be willing to rent a flat together. Luckily, I met three other guys working in the same company, who were also on the lookout for accomodation. We were from four different states: I am from Delhi, and my three roommates were from Madhya Pradesh, Chhattisgarh and Karnataka.
Since rooming together was a new experience as far as I was concerned, I tried to adjust initially by getting to know my roomies, in terms of their their likes, dislikes and overall disposition. They were also very cooperative, and since all four of us were newbies at our jobs, we were ambitious and wanted to prove ourselves early on in life -- this forged a bond between us. Soon, we were holding regular discussions regarding our growing up experiences, work, and everything new and interesting.
For the first twelve months, it was like a honeymoon (not literally, of course!), as everything was going well, from daily meals to spending weekends together at Durgam Cheruvu (Secret Lake), in the Madhapur area of Hyderabad. We grew very fond of one other, and supported each other like brothers. By nature I was a little short-tempered, and although small contentious issues cropped up from time to time, my roommate Manoj (from Madhya Pradesh) always managed to smooth things over.
Then, one day, one of our merry band left us to avail of an onsite job opportunity. It was now just the three of us -- Manoj, Anand (from Karnataka) and myself -- but not for long. I too decided that I needed to live alone in order to prepare for my CAT exam, and other competitive exams I was required to take so as to secure a seat in an MBA institute. It came as a shock to my roomies, but when I found a flat for myself and moved out, they didn't try to stop me, and allowed me to leave.
I ended up staying separately for only one and a half months. During this time, I couldn't resist meeting them every day (either at the office, or at mealtimes). I was feeling lonely, and it was proving difficult for me to settle into my new place on my own -- I missed my roommates terribly. One night, I spoke to them about it, and was told they also felt the same way -- after an emotional half-hour conversation that saw many tears from all sides, I decided to move back in with them. We transferred all my luggage at midnight that night itself, and I left my own flat without even telling the landlord.
Since my exams were around the corner, Manoj and Anand helped me prepare in every way they could. They took up responsibility to manage the household chores (we used to cook meals ourselves), and absolved me from all responsibility. I was served food at my desk every day. Out of the two bedrooms we had, I was given one to study -- and I didn't even have to clean it, as Manoj took care to see that everything was in order for me. Anand took up other responsibilities like shopping for groceries. I was not allowed to do anything other than study. One night, while studying around 11 pm, I wanted a cup of tea, but there was no milk in the refrigerator -- they combed the whole locality and managed to bring some home for me. There were so many other incidents like this one, that I can't mention all of them here.
Whenever I was late for my tutorial classes (I had joined IMS), Anand used to drop me there on his bike. During my exams, he also took up the responsibility to drop me to my examination centre on time each day, and waited till I was done so he could give me a ride home again.
My roommates cared for me like a brother, and I will remain forever indebted to them. Today I am studying at one of India's top business schools, and completed my first year recently. I can't find the words to thank Manoj and Anand, and will always be grateful to them for helping me make my way here.
Currently, both of them are in the US, and are still staying together!
For anyone who is looking to share accomodations with a roommate, here is some advice from me:
Take time to understand your roommates. You can't expect everyone to behave the way you want them to.
Your relationship with your roommate/s should be devoid of any kind of competition.
You should always settle any dispute with your roommates amicably. Every human being has a soft corner -- if you are able to find it, you will soon be comfortable around him/ her.
If your roommate is an introvert, handle him/ her with care. Introverts may not ask for any help, or any favour, but if you are able to understand them and help them when they need it most, you will be able to form long-lasting and genuine relationships with them.
Finally, the crux of a relationship lies in the ability to understand others, and to help them however you can. You don't need to pull someone down to grow in life. There is a lot of space at the top. We all need to avoid unhealthy competition and unethical practices.